35-year-old husband lashes out at wife for keeping her headphones on during WFH day, says she didn't hear him calling for help with chores: 'My husband came in, visibly upset'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 26, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Headphones are an incredible invention. I don't know what I would have done without them. All those times on the bus to school, looking out the window listening to whatever angsty Spotify playlist I had just cooked up… those were deeply formative times in my adolescence. Then, as I got older, listening to instrumental jazz as I crammed writing my finals in college-- a true way to lock in in a way that nothing else can let you. And now as a commuting adult, I'd be lost without my headphones, getting in that precious good tunes time before I clock in. 

You'd be hard-pressed to find someone to doesn't love to turn off the world and tune into whatever is playing in those cans. Especially when you're working. Noise-cancellation can help you focus, and so can music. It's also a good signal to the world not to bother you when you're deep in the sauce.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10509048320
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One husband, though, didn't quite see the need. When he noticed that his wife liked to pop in her AirPods when she was hard at work at her remote job, it rubbed him the wrong way. But when he tried to step in and say something, it didn't go how he thought it might. Read on for the story.

  • 02

    AITA for wearing headphones while WFH and not hearing my husband call for me?

    I (32F) am looking for some outside perspective on an ongoing issue with my husband (36M).
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 03
    For background, I used to wear my AirPods a lot while doing things around the house, and my husband felt like I was not present and was tuning him out. I understood his feelings and made a conscious effort to change-l now rarely wear my AirPods in common areas of our home or when I know he's around.
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 04
    However, I work from home a few days a week, and when I'm in my home office, I wear headphones for calls or to listen to music so I can focus (I have ADHD and this really helps me). This morning, I was checking emails and listening to music in my office when my husband came in,
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 05
    visibly upset. He said he'd been calling my name from downstairs and was frustrated that I didn't hear him because of my headphones. He was looking for his computer charger and said that if he didn't have to run up and down the stairs, he'd have more energy to take care of things at home. He then told me I needed to empty the dishwasher because he was "too tired" of having to run up and down the stairs all of time.
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 06
    Side note: He does a lot around the house, which I really do appreciate. I am happy to do my part, but often he gets to things before I do because I'm working during the day. He is currently interviewing for jobs, but even though he isn't working right now, he's very busy working on our new house, networking, applying, and interviewing.
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 07
    There was another instance last week: He told me in the morning he'd be going to the grocery store, so I helped make the list and then went to my home office to work. I had calls that morning, so my AirPods were in. I didn't know exactly when he was planning to leave, or that he had
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 08
    left, because I was working. When he got home, he called my name to help unload groceries, but I didn't hear him. He was frustrated again and said we keep having the same issue with my AirPods. I told him if I'd known he wanted help unloading or when he was coming back, I would have been ready, but I can't monitor his actions while I'm working. He disagrees and says I'm in the wrong.
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 09
    I do agree that it was an issue in the past, but him expecting me to not wear my AirPods at all while I'm working feels a bit extreme. I feel frustrated because it's hard for me to focus on work as it is, and I don't think it's fair for him to expect me to be available at any moment during my work hours. just because I'm at home. I also feel like some of these issues could be solved with clearer communication, but he feels I should just be more considerate because he's also busy.
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 10
    AITA for wearing headphones while working in my home office and not hearing him call me? Or am I being inconsiderate? Thanks for your input!
    via u/TicketMore9365
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10509048576
    via Unsplash+ (Sandra Seitamaa)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12

    Commenters came to her defense and tried to figure this out.

    S... 20h ago 20h ago Edited 18h ago NTA He was looking for his computer charger That's neither an emergency nor your problem (assuming you didn't take the charger). He needs to keep track of
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 13
    his own stuff without you needing to be available at his beck-and-call 24/7. If he really needs you, he can physically walk into your office and talk to you, not scream from across the house.
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 14
    If he didn't lose his things, he wouldn't need to run up and down the stairs. Does he have some kind of medical condition? Because if not, if using the stairs in his own home is too tiring for him, maybe an exercise regimen is in order. He's only 36. He should be able to look for a charger without getting too tired to empty the dishwasher.
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 15
    You should also be able to use ear pods in your own home when you're not working, as well. Yeah, not being able to get someone's attention at a moment's notice is a little annoying, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be allowed to use them ever.
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 16
    Frankly, your husband sounds like a tiresome ah le. What other things aren't you "allowed" to do? Edit: or if him going into your office would be too disruptive, he can text you or otherwise get in touch without screaming from another room. And it should be limited to actual important things.
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 17
    Lovebeingadad54... · 19h ago F that, my wife wears AirPods while working at home. When you are WFH, you are effectively AT WORK, not there to baby your husband... my wife tells me "I will Be in the office wearing AirPods. If you need anything you MUST come
    via u/Lovebeingadad54321
  • 18
    into the room and make eye contact." If your husband is not working he SHOULD BE handling the housework without you. Sometimes my wife will not even be working from home, just doing mundane housework and say "I am listening to an audiobook. Come find me and look me in the eye if you want anything."
    via u/Lovebeingadad54321
  • 19
    Tell your husband this rule. Maybe even make the rule that you are not to be disturbed by him at ALL while you are working. NTA
    via u/Lovebeingadad54321
  • 20
    A.... 19h ago Edited 18h ago NTA, but your husband is. You're currently a single income household. And his little tantrums about you not running right to him when he calls for you, like a dog, is interrupting your work. This could, in turn, jeopardize the
    via u/Aggressive_Sea_339
  • 21
    single income you guys have right now. He's not "busy", he's "needy". He wants to still feel like the provider, even though that is currently you right now. He still wants you to be hanging around waiting for his attention like old school "traditional" husband/wife roles, but can't comprehend that he
    via u/Aggressive_Sea_339
  • 22
    should be doing that for you since those roles are technically "reversed" right now. He wants to stop being "so exhausted from running up the stairs to you", then he should just stop it. Stop coming to you for help with simple, adult tasks like putting away groceries. Yes
    via u/Aggressive_Sea_339
  • 23
    it's more fun to do together, but not impossible to do alone while your partner is working. He needs to grow up. Working from home should be treated like working in the office - during your work hours, you're completely unavailable barring a serious emergency.
    via u/Aggressive_Sea_339
  • 24
    Equivalent_Juice... • 19h ago NTA. The great thing about about listening to music with AirPods? They're connected to your phone. Your husband could text or call you easily to get right through to you. Even if you are on DND you can set it up where his calls/texts would get through.
    via u/Equivalent_Juice2395
  • 25
    The bigger conversation is your husband interrupting your work from home like it isn't important or serious. You may need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation about what working from home means... if he can't take it seriously
    via u/Equivalent_Juice2395
  • 26
    then you need to either get a lock for your door, move back into the office, or find a nice peaceful place away from home to get your work done. Your husband wouldn't be doing this to you if you were in the office. Let him know it's not acceptable at home.
    via u/Equivalent_Juice2395
  • 27
    You're at work. Just because you're working from home doesn't mean you're not working. NTA. Everything he has done, said, or reacted to in your post is bonkers.
    via u/Equivalent_Juice2395

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

long term relationship relationship advice healthy marriage aita relationship marriage remote work relationship status adhd relationship-drama reddit story marriage-drama relationships story adhd memes reddit thread Reddit healthy relationship
Scroll Down For The Next Article